Honestly, guano everywhere.
But of course, Scientifically Accurate Spiderman is an important piece of entertainment, or science, or social commentary, or humor, or satire, or whatever it is. Yes, yes, but never mind that; it would be way, way, better than the original. I mean, if Peter Parker threw up on Gwen Stacy and tried to eat her, and then his dick fell off, now that would be a story worth tuning in for. As it stands, he’s just some sort of emo escapee from Cirque du Soleil.