It’s all about the weight. I’m told the back half gets even better mileage. These cars should have their own carpool lane — you know, during their commute to Chernobyl to harvest glo-sticks from regular trees, or their avant-garde experiments in vodka infusion, or whatever these fine, upstanding lads do for a living.

(Thanks to Honorary Borderline Russian Charles Schneider for sending that one along)