Xu Xiaodong Is a Bad Man (The Good Kind)

Xu Xiaodong Is a Bad Man (The Good Kind)

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https://youtu.be/0XwXaCbfIGw

I know tai chi and ju jitsu and kung fu and several other Oriental words. Other than that, I just punch people when they’re not looking and then run away. OK, I admit, I mostly I skip the punching part, and just run away. Hey, I’m still here, so I guess my method isn’t so dumb.

Anyway, MMA enthusiast Xu Xiaodong doesn’t punch people and then run away. He runs after people and punches them. And not just any people. He thinks that co-called tai chi masters are frauds, and says so publicly. Some of these (totalitarian state-approved) tai chi masters took offense, and one even doxxed him. That made Wu mad, and he showed up at the tai chi expert’s own gym, and said let’s get it on, sugar. This video is the result. Wu has got a list of the more-or-less government approved tai chi masters, and is beating the hell out of them one at a time. He’s on number 17 now, I believe. He’s never even come close to losing a bout, on any terms. One guy demanded that Wu wear clown makeup, or he wouldn’t fight him. Wu showed up in face paint, and painted the canvas with the guy.

Xu Xiaodong is blacklisted by the Communist government for saying something vaguely friendly about the protesters in Hong Kong, among other things. He can’t ride on a plane or a high speed train because of their social credit score interdict. So he takes the bus to his next opponent’s place, no matter how far it is, and beats them up all the harder because he’s cranky and tired as well as a very bad man. And a brave one. It takes nerve to stand up to the Chinese government. He lives in Beijing, so he’s right under their thumb. He doesn’t seem to care. He lives by the BSBFB mantra:

“If I don’t like someone, I fight them. It’s really that simple.”

Gravity Bikes: The Soap Box Derby for Mental Defectives

Gravity Bikes: The Soap Box Derby for Mental Defectives

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Well, the wind noise on the video is slightly more musical than the usual thrash metal soundtrack, so you have to give it that. I love the nervous chuckle when they roll slowly by the cop car before they’re doing anything arrest-able, too. That’s a sure sign that Borderline Sociopathic Boy activities are about to begin. Gravity bikes remind me of skiing before chair lifts. The slide down the hill was awesome, but the walk back to the top is kinda tiresome.

Float Like A Breezeblock, Sting Like A Ballistic Missile

Float Like A Breezeblock, Sting Like A Ballistic Missile

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I always liked watching Mike Tyson box because he fights like he’s got somewhere to be in about 20 minutes and he really doesn’t want to be late. He’s usually halfway to the locker room before his opponent hits the floor. Of course, he somehow manages to get lost on the way back to his corner, but there’s four corners to choose from so I can see how he’d get confused.

I even enjoy watching his interviews because it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck as he slurs and spits his way through every syllable. It makes you appreciate how some humans are built to do one thing and one thing only. While some people are natural-born accountants or used car salesmen, Mike Tyson is a janitor — he takes whoever is within arm’s length and mops the floor with them. He takes out the trash like you wouldn’t believe, and it appears that he really likes his job.

I’d like my job too if I got sent a six-figure check for a match that had a longer weigh-in than actual fight. That seems like a pretty good deal.

What’s His Superpower? Dadness

What’s His Superpower? Dadness

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There has never been a superpower that trumps dadness. Guys shaped like dirigibles can leap over buildings in a single bound if their toddler is in danger on the other side. Dads can arrest gravity and stop time and catch left-handed. Dads can beat up regular guys no sweat. Only another dad is a worthy adversary. Of course the reason for this Dadness power is that dad knows he’ll never hear the end of it from his wife if he comes home with a busted kid.