Little Known Fact: At The Russian Disneyland, Mickey Mouse Is A Rabid Capybara

Little Known Fact: At The Russian Disneyland, Mickey Mouse Is A Rabid Capybara


Russian amusement parks are… different.

Now, the general outline of the thing is visible. Fun is had. Fun seems to involve more Vodka and fatal collisions than your average Knots Berry Farm outing; but hey — fun is fun. Remember that skeevy circus that comes to town once a year in a podunk town in middle America? Remember that fellow with the infected tattoo and that ran the tilt-a-whirl? You know, the ride with machinery that looked like the set of a Saw movie? Well in Russia, the carnie that presides over deciding if you’re “this high” and lets you on the ride, or not, is running the country. All the fun trickles down from there.

(Thanks to Жерар at  Американский Digest  for sending that one along) 

Don’t Laugh. Elon Musk Will Be On Good Morning America Monday Explaining Why We Should All Be Commuting From L.A. To Frisco On These

Don’t Laugh. Elon Musk Will Be On Good Morning America Monday Explaining Why We Should All Be Commuting From L.A. To Frisco On These


Of course, we’ll need massive gummint subsidies to put cutting-edge corrugated cardboard fairings within the reach of even the most lowly fair trade barista. But the concept is there, people. Wake up! Stand up to Big Scooter! You know, Big Scooter, a loose, shady cabal of scooter manufacturers that influences the government to disallow pulped paper fenders and firecrackers on powered bicycles. Fight the power, people! Buy a dishwasher, throw it away, keep the box, troll Craigslist on July 5th, and shed the shackles of ordinary scootering today!

Gravity Is A Harsh Mistress

Gravity Is A Harsh Mistress


But Fair. Cruel, but fair. But harsh. Fairly harsh. Only a little cruel, but entirely fair. Entirely fairly harshly cruel.

These gentlemen seem to have some sort of fundraising scheme afoot. They desire a folding money budget for their experiments. Perhaps they are going to flush themselves down a toilet, or shoot themselves in the face with a concrete pumper, or TIG weld their nipple earrings to a moving bus, or call an NFL defensive tackle fat, or drink paint, or maybe cure cancer.

As far as the curing cancer thing goes, I’d keep out of the sun and quit smoking, just in case it takes them awhile.

(Sent from the right man on the wrong coast, Gerard at American Digest, who stays out of the sun because there isn’t any)

We Used To Go To Circuses To See Carnies Pester Animals

We Used To Go To Circuses To See Carnies Pester Animals

Now we go to parking lots to see Red Bull pester, well, us.

Ah well, no one’s forcing you to drink that elixir they’ve got that tastes like a suck on Beelzebub’s couch cushions. You can just stand there and watch the monkeys on the unicycles juggling  the guy on the motorcycle getting nowhere fast.

He’s got mad skillz, it’s true, but he’s still no match for a blue-hair in a Crown Vic who throws their door open too quickly after parallel parking.