Of course, we’ll need massive gummint subsidies to put cutting-edge corrugated cardboard fairings within the reach of even the most lowly fair trade barista. But the concept is there, people. Wake up! Stand up to Big Scooter! You know, Big Scooter, a loose, shady cabal of scooter manufacturers that influences the government to disallow pulped paper fenders and firecrackers on powered bicycles. Fight the power, people! Buy a dishwasher, throw it away, keep the box, troll Craigslist on July 5th, and shed the shackles of ordinary scootering today!