Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, And Despair!

Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, And Despair!


Sure, he’s dressed like your garden-variety trailer park denizen. He seems a bit meek and mild-mannered, or maybe just stoned. But don’t let that fool you; that dude’s BIG trouble. He’s like Shaft, John McClane, and Hercules all rolled into one. He leaves a wake of destruction in his path that only government subsidies could hope to equal. He’s got the reverse Midas touch. After he passes by, nothing leaves a shadow. We should have sent him to Iraq instead of the army. Rubble don’t make trouble, I always say, and believe me, that garage isn’t going to bother anyone anytime soon.

Romania. Romania. You Border On The Adriatic. Your Land Is Mostly Mountainous, And Your Main Export Is Chrome

Romania. Romania. You Border On The Adriatic. Your Land Is Mostly Mountainous, And Your Main Export Is Chrome


Oh, dear. Sorry about that. That’s the Albania song, not the Romania song. My bad. I don’t know the Romania song. I can’t even begin to fake the Romania song. I don’t know what their main export is. But they don’t seem to be suffering from a shortage of OH MY GOD GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU PSYCHOPATH YouTube videos. Even if this is the only one, that’s plenty.

They must live near Russia, is all I can figure. Russia’s main export is, of course, dashcam videos. The Romanians, no doubt afraid of being unable to break into this lucrative world of shaky videos of fourteen cars smashing into five trucks and a stroller that the Russians are so adept at, have decided to try their hand at a melange of circus tricks performed on rusting infrastructure at great heights. It’s a niche market, it’s true, but they’re sure to own it.

[Thanks to BSBFB buddy Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along]

These Are Surely The End Times When Even The Amish Are Vinyl Siding Their Houses

These Are Surely The End Times When Even The Amish Are Vinyl Siding Their Houses


I don’t know. I used to sort of depend on the Amish to stay the same way forevermore. Act as a barometer for the rest of us, or at least a compass. Remind us of the way things used to be, and still could be if we got in the Free Silver/Granger mood again. But now they’re making electric fireplaces to sell on Home Shopping Network. They’ve got reality shows, which proves they’re entering a world of unreality with the rest of us. There’s nothing less real than that. Well, except for vinyl siding. What’s next, Amish sex tapes?

Won’t those beards get in the way? The beards on the women, I mean.

Remember That Time Your Mother Asked If Your Friends Jumped Off A Cliff…

Remember That Time Your Mother Asked If Your Friends Jumped Off A Cliff…


Oh, if you’re like me, you remember it like it was yesterday: Just because your friends are doing it doesn’t mean you have to do it. I suppose if your friends jumped off a cliff, you would, too.

Well, apparently the old girl was on to something. Here we see the whole, sorry peer pressure thing played out in the skiing milieu. Just because there’s a trail left in the snow from some other skiier doesn’t mean that you should follow it. For all you know, it was Sonny Bono skiing with a Kennedy cousin.

Oh, and by the way: remember that funny face you made in the fourth grade? Your mom was right, it’s stuck that way now.