Art Is Hard

Art Is Hard

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSQvx8mnLbY

I’m not an artist, nor have I ever claimed to be one. My watercolors are weak, my oil paintings are a mess, and my sculptures are all mesas done with mashed potatoes. I am not an artist. Not one iota of me knows how to manipulate the physical world to create something visually pleasing. I know better than to call myself a modern artist or a post-modernist, because I have at least a shred of dignity. I’d rather be called a regular ole hack than a post-modernist. At least I’m self-aware. I know I’m complete garbage. You don’t have to dress it up with a fancy name that has its own college degree and $80,000 of student debt.

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Hey, Do You Smell Burning?

Hey, Do You Smell Burning?

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(Pro tip from a certified Intertunnel explorer: mute the audio)

Well, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain, but I’ve never seen a fiery hellstorm-vortex topped with debris and bits of Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. At least she’s gone to a better place. Namely, anywhere that isn’t Kansas.

Taken out of context, this video might seem a bit disturbing to some. It’ll seem awesome to everyone else, because let’s face it, a fiery hellstorm-from-hell is a lot cooler than a plain old brush fire. Nobody died, so I’m allowed to joke about it freely without feeling any pangs of eternal remorse, and  getting moved from Santa’s Nice List to his That Guy List. I’m sure a lot of precious flora and fauna was cleansed from the middle-American dirt, but I’ve noticed they don’t seem to hesitate to reproduce themselves the way art history majors do.

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You’ll Fry Your Eye Out, Kid!

You’ll Fry Your Eye Out, Kid!

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Lasers — lasers are cool. Lasers have topped the yearly cool list since their introduction in the 60s. While other cool items have gone out of fashion, lasers have remained steady in their position of coolness. They’ve outlasted everything from leather pants to wearing sunglasses at night. Even at their advanced age,  lasers still climbing the charts to the top of the coolness list as modern fashion and pop culture runs out of ugly things for us to wear and useless trinkets like an iPhone for us to carry around.

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Martha Stewart Has Really Let Herself Go

Martha Stewart Has Really Let Herself Go

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Way out West there was this lady — lady I wanna tell ya about. Lady by the name of Rainbow Sponge Lady. At least that was the handle her loving parents gave her, but she never had much use for it himself. Rainbow Sponge Lady, she called himself Rainbow Sponge Lady. Now, Rainbow Sponge Lady — she didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where she lived, likewise.

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