My name is Mainus, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Mainus Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
To be honest, I’m a little bit surprised. I had no idea that a weapon forged in the basement of a Soviet tricycle shop could be so effective. It didn’t blow up in the user’s face or anything. I’m quite impressed. The rocket propelled grenades aren’t fueled with vodka and Capitalist tears either. The RPG-7 is rocking my entire world right now.
If you don’t find this calming, then I don’t know what will. This video holds the exact recipe to calm the savage soul. First off, it’s made by PES, and watching a video made by PES is like taking horse tranquilizers intravenously. Trust me on this one, it’s pretty calming.
I find it very strange that everyone seems to have these high-tech devices on hand. I was perturbed when all of my friends started showing up with cellphones. I wasn’t particularly fond of drones when everyone started producing them out of the blue. Now everyone seems to have a jetpack, and I don’t know what to think anymore. On one hand, jetpacks are cool. On the other hand, I’ll probably never have one, and there’s no sense in having nice things exist if I can’t hog them all for myself.