You have to love Colin Furze. He understands the zeitgeist. In today’s entertainment world, acting zanier than Guy Fieri on diet pills and 4 Four Lokos is essential to getting noticed. Colin touches the lens with the end of his nose while yelling, because that’s how you climb the greasy pole of online notoriety. Unlike most other YouTube channels with wacky wildmen zoo creature in your face tattooed love boys, Colin also gets stuff done.
I freely admit that bothering farm animals isn’t an American invention. After all, they’ve been poking and prodding and teasing bulls in Barcelona since the Romans owned the place. People have devised competitions to herd sheep and see how much milk they can get out of cows since time immemorial. But let’s face it, riding a bull just seems like an American thing to do.
It’s almost summertime, so of course I’m fascinated with ski jumping. Snow doesn’t really seem to have much to do with ski jumping anymore, so anytime’s a good time to watch pale humans doing their finest Rocket J. Squirrel imitation. I think I saw someone mowing the lawn five feet off to the side of the piste or jump thing or whatever you call it.
Anyway, I of course speak perfect Norwegish. I picked it up by watching curling matches on cable access TV in the Upper Peninsula. It comes in handy when you’re trying to watch ski jumping. I know all BSBFB readers speak all the languages necessary to watch shovel racing, hurling, wife carrying, elephant polo, cheese rolling, canal vaulting, caber tossing, and pie eating. In the off chance that somebody doesn’t know what the announcer is saying in the video, I’ve translated it into Spanish for you:
This dude is not mechanic. He’s the Dr. Moreau of auto restoration. I’m not sure it’s appropriate to call this a ’55 Chevy anymore. After a while, the Mona Lisa is no longer a portrait of Lisa Gherardini. It’s it’s own thing. It exists in a universe of its own making.