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Category: wtf

We Need A Ruling Here, Ref

We Need A Ruling Here, Ref


I don’t know whether these fellows are douche-bros or bro-douches. Perhaps they’re brah-dudes, or dude-brahs. Or maybe they’re homie-brosephs. Unfortunately, they aren’t wearing any popped collars in the video. Popped collars are like tree rings. You can cut down a tree, count the growth rings on the stump, and figure out how old a tree is — er, was. You can generally count the popped collars on a broseph to see what fraternity he might qualify for, or what kind of jorts he might purchase in the future. It’s like fingerprints.

So I’m not sure of any of that, but I am sure that jumping over a railing over and over is not parkour, and that hat is not a fedora. So the title “Fedora Tricks and Parkour” might need a little tweaking, dudes-guys. That hat is a trilby, which is right up there with popped collars on the dude-bro checklist of annoying affectations. Word to the (un)wise: Indiana Jones wears a fedora. Kevin Federline wears a trilby. Do the math.

(Sent along by Gerard at American Digest, who has the good sense to wear a porkpie hat, like a normal person would)

This Is How Every Parkour Video Should End

This Is How Every Parkour Video Should End


Hello Kitty Shaft

Who’s the cat who won’t cop out
When second-rate parkour breaks out?
Hello Kitty Shaft!
Can you dig it?

They say Hello Kitty Shaft is a bad mother…
SHUT UP AND GET OFF THE FENCE!
But I’m talkin’ about Hello Kitty Shaft
Then we can dig it!

He’s a complicated man
But no one understands him but his racquet
Hello Kitty Shaft!
Damn right

Tonight On CBS: Bedside Katana!

Tonight On CBS: Bedside Katana!


Bit of a cough there at twenty-five seconds. Perhaps it should be: Somewhat Tubercular Samurai With A Bedside Katana. Hmmm. He seems a little… heavy for a samurai. Perhaps it should be: Somewhat Tubercular Sumo Samurai With A Bedside Katana. And that really doesn’t look like much of a bed; perhaps it’s a tatami. That would be in keeping with the whole Somewhat Tubercular Sumo Samurai With A Bedside Katana thang. So I guess we should call it: Somewhat Tubercular Sumo Samurai With A Tatami-side Katana. Now we’re getting somewhere. It trips off the tongue, really. But what’s with the shaky autofocus on the camera? Mebbe we should have called it: Unfocused, But Focusing, Somewhat Tubercular Sumo Samurai With A Tatami-side Katana.

And why does he have a trap case over there? That looks like sound reinforcement equipment. Is he planning on amplifying his awesomeness? Because that would be awesome. Then we could call it: Amplified, If Somewhat Unfocused, But Focusing, Somewhat Tubercular Sumo Samurai With A Tatami-side Katana Awesomeness.

I suppose we could just call him Internet Tough Guy. At least it will fit on the tee shirt.