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Category: wtf

Oh, The Humanity

Oh, The Humanity

What a disaster. This video makes the Hindenburg look like a kid dropping his ice cream cone into a swamp. Even the Titanic pales in comparison to this ludicrous display. It has every element needed for a national tragedy: dogs, misshapen women, and leotards.

There’s no hope in ever undoing the damage that has been wrought. I’m pretty sure this video gave me brain damage, but not so you’d notice. It’s that good, subtle, brain damage. The kind that makes everything taste like chicken.

[Many thanks to the intertunnel cosmonaut Tim for sending this one along.]

Elderly Men In Poofy Pants Frighten The Neighbors

Elderly Men In Poofy Pants Frighten The Neighbors

I feel very uncomfortable. Not quite as uncomfortable as hearing your parents making sweet, sweet love in the other room, but somewhere around there. I can only imagine what seeing Mick Jagger and David Bowie on a dimly lit street would be like. Let alone having them corner you in an alley, menacingly snapping, and shuffling their way down until they’re right on top of you. Toothy, British smiles hanging over you, asking if you’re ready for a brand new beat. Spooky; I’m certainly not ready for that nor will I ever be. That’s enough to traumatize any normal person.

But we at the BSBFB aren’t normal people. A true borderline boy would have a response ready before the question was even asked.

“Yes”, he would reply.

“I am ready.”

My Money Is On The Invertebrate

My Money Is On The Invertebrate

Yoga: a silent, but deadly art form. Like a fart in the face of your enemy, yoga will mess that fella up.

Years of Kung fu training are no match for a man with an extremely bendy thumb. Then again, the sound of his joints cracking is enough to make a grown man wet himself. In the heat of combat that must be absolutely devastating. It’s almost as effective as taking a nail to a chalkboard, except you smack the guy with your super bendy arm afterwards.

The super bendy arm move is a great conversation starter. If you’re trying to chat someone up, tell them about your super bendy arm move. It always works for me.

One Hears Such Sounds, And What Can One Say But — JIMMY.

One Hears Such Sounds, And What Can One Say But — JIMMY.

This song definitely needs a marimba or two to fill out the mid-range. A nice string section could really add a lot. Nothing says MY PAPA IS A SUPER GIANT like the London Philharmonic blazing away in the background. Throw in a tuba solo for some added suspense and sophistication. Record a theremin part to add some sex appeal. Nothing says sexy like indistinct monotonous wailing. And finally, it needs more cowbell.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the direction he’s taking; very edgy, very raw, very cool. It sounds like a sharp mound of uncooked hamburger in music form. Which is obviously a good thing. And it’s not like you can’t relate to the guy. We all have a papa of some sort. Most of them aren’t super giants, but basketball players have kids, too.