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Who Do You Think You Are, Dillinger?

Who Do You Think You Are, Dillinger?

We’re paying basketball players too much money. We’re asking too many football players for autographs. We’re watching too many baseball games. Fans are altogether too interested in the clothes pro golfers are wearing. We need more sports to pay attention to. The Brits and Irish love their darts, and the matches are a hoot. Billiards is a blast. But I think we’re missing a opportunity here. Archery matches are great, and lends itself to golf-announcer sotto voce commentators, my favorite kind. Besides, there’s a guy named John Dillinger shooting. If he robbed a bank with his bow and arrow, I’d put my hands up and fill the bag with cash. Besides, I think all bank robberies should be closed with polite applause from the onlookers.

A Strong Man, and a Snappy Dresser, Too

A Strong Man, and a Snappy Dresser, Too

Not only is this strong man strong, he’s strong in French. That’s a whole ‘nother level of strong. You’d know that if you ever rode a French subway. Anyway, I’m sort of on the fence about the stripper sandals and the leather diaper/culottes. I have in my time, however, broken many a wine bottle, so I love this guy’s act. Of course I break my booze bottles when they’re still half full when I reach for them for my eighth cocktail, but the idea is  the same. In the same vein, I haven’t had four men stand on me while I lie on a bed of nails, but I did once sleep on a pull out couch with that metal bar in the middle, and my wife had her arm across my neck when I woke up. It’s pretty much the same thing. I’m looking forward to this guy’s next video, when he picks up a thrown newspaper without emitting a loud oof sound when he bends over. That’s a man’s man.

Well, It’s That Time of Year Again

Well, It’s That Time of Year Again

Ah, sorta-spring in the northern climes. You don’t know whether you’re going to need a snow shovel for a late-season dump or a regular shovel for mud season. There’s seems to be a forty-degree difference between sweating in the sunshine and shivering in the shade. One side of your house has icicles, the other has squirrels chewing at the eaves.

That’s the time a young man’s mind turns to snowmobile/Ferrari racing.

Let Me Toluol a Story

Let Me Toluol a Story

Once upon a time, Handsome Squidward  built a Sopwith Camel. It was marvelous beyond belief. In less than eight minutes, it transported me back to a time and place of peaceful contentment, toothpicks, Testor’s Pla, and squirrel hair brushes. Then the only German pilot who couldn’t possible shoot down an airplane, or hit anything else for that matter, showed up. The end.