Life, The Universe, and Everything
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Explain, As You Would To A Child
I don’t know what’s happening; please send help. I need an adult. My brain has fallen and it can’t get up. What is this? What do? How do? Who do? Please elaborate, fellows. Why are we traveling towards Saturn at the speed of light? Is this what scientists are getting up to these days? I thought they were supposed to be saving the Universe from its inevitable heat-death in 4 billion years or inventing a cure for being alive for longer than 8 years. I didn’t know it was in their job description to simulate traveling through Saturn’s rings at the speed of light. I’ve seen their job description, and that isn’t in it.
The Thai Space Program Is Exactly What You Would Expect
There was no obvious loss of life, and the thing technically went off without a hitch, but I’m still not entirely convinced that they’re ready to go to the Moon. The design is flawless. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a brilliant idea to design your spacecraft like a mix between a cheese grater and a Beyblade. My only concern is that it doesn’t seem to have any room to carry any small animals or humans into space. A man cannot walk on the Moon if the man is left at home, beer in hand, watching the explosions from the safety of his bamboo dinette set. They need to attach a lawn chair to that thing at the very least. If the government backs the project, they might be able to afford a fancy lawn chair from Target.
I once said that going to the Moon is piss easy, and I still stand by that claim. The only real issue that people encounter when shooting for the Moon is that they try to get cute with their rocket designs. The Russians had immense problems in the beginning because no one told them that you weren’t supposed to build your spacecraft out of concrete and dead dissidents. America kept their designs relatively streamlined, but we still managed to litter the Moon’s surface with semi-exploded satellites and debris. If anyone cares to look you can probably find Buzz Aldrin’s discarded pee bags. He might not have been the first man to walk on the Moon, but he didn’t whizzing everywhere.
Wernher Von Braun, Eat Your Heart Out
A lot of people like to gripe about how good things were way back when. Well what about right now? I’m sure that way back when was all very well and good, but it’s best not to ignore the present. If you aren’t careful it might become the past before you even have time to notice it’s happening. This video is already three years old. We landed on the moon forty-four years ago. It’s about time we start doing something right now. The sky is no longer the limit, the Earth has become an afterthought, and gravity is just a suggestion. Let’s get busy.
Last one to Mars buys the first round of space beers.