While moose are indigenous to many parts of North America, I can say with absolute certainty that this video was at least inspired by Maine. There seems to be some mysterious mountains in the background, and everything is a bit out of focus, so I can’t say for sure where this video was taken. However, the Maine trademarks are splattered all over this video like Jack the Ripper had a really bad day at the office and decided to have a relaxing night out on the town.
My name is Roo, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting down under. It’s called Roo Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a koala, the reflexes of a emu, and the wisdom of a kangaroo.
My name is Shark Puncher, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Pacific Octagon. It’s called Shark-Puncher Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
Way down South there was this fella… fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Viperkeeper. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Viperkeeper, he called himself “The Dude”. Now, “Dude” – that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Miami “Little Cuba”. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice folks there. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what – after seeing Miami, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.
Sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude, in Miami. And even if he’s a lazy man – and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Miami-Dade County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced him enough.