This guy, here, however, is the real deal. He’s kind of lazy, of course, or he’d be riding up the hill. He’s practicing for some sort of Afghani paper route or something. The flip during the jump over the canyon would no doubt be useful for evading incoming RPGs and assorted flak.
(Thanks to our western correspondent, Gerard at American Digest, for sending that one along. He’s looped on coffee, not Red Bull, like a real man should)
I mean, first you chug that cough elixir that doesn’t cure coughs, and then you ride a bike off a cliff. If you fall down, is that bad? If you slide down a moraine on your face instead of on your wheels, I figure there’s more entertainment value in it.
I’m all for the democratization of athletics, of course. We all cant have a big, flat lawn with stripes on it every five yards, and find twenty-one friends to knock heads on it every Sunday. Half your friends might, oh, I don’t know, ride their bikes off cliffs while looped on Red Bull on Saturday, and be unavailable to run the hook and ladder with you on Sunday. So the ability to turn a paper route that doesn’t deliver papers into a sport is good for the soul, I think. Especially when you do that Roadrunner/Coyote thing, hanging in midair for a few seconds before the scintillating gravel pizza finish. Love it.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. He’s old fashioned. He doesn’t drink Red Bull. He drinks coffee, and, well, Old-Fashioneds)
Now we go to parking lots to see Red Bull pester, well, us.
Ah well, no one’s forcing you to drink that elixir they’ve got that tastes like a suck on Beelzebub’s couch cushions. You can just stand there and watch the monkeys on the unicycles juggling the guy on the motorcycle getting nowhere fast.
He’s got mad skillz, it’s true, but he’s still no match for a blue-hair in a Crown Vic who throws their door open too quickly after parallel parking.
Skydiving onto a Slip ‘n Slide. Where do you put that on your curriculum vitae? After eating a birthday cake underwater, but before mowing the lawn with nailclippers?
(thanks to our friend Charles Schneider for sending that one along)