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Category: folderol

HA HA! BUSINESS!

HA HA! BUSINESS!

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I don’t think I’m cut out for big business. The constant human interaction frightens and confuses me. I can’t even get the business expressions right: A bird in the hand is probably dead, but not worth quite as much as a bush or two. Err — A closed mouth gathers no foot, but makes it very hard to eat a sandwich. The early bird gets the worm, and dysentery, probably. This is why I quit business school; I failed my business expressions class, and never recovered.

Even though I flunked spectacularly and dropped out of business school, I still managed to get a job in a rather large office building. It didn’t last long, because I kept stealing printers, and swiping boxes of plastic utensils from the break room, but it was worth it.

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James Cameron Eat Your Heart Out

James Cameron Eat Your Heart Out

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Still better than the CGI George Lucas raped the first three Star Wars movies with. Personally, I prefer to use bad CGI in a movie whenever possible. It adds an extra layer of entertainment to the giant pile of fetid frosting that is a modern movie. It’s my humble opinion that bad movies are much better than good ones. A good movie can get old. The way it’s filmed might seem outdated in a few years, the colors look all wrong after a few decades, and any video effects look cheesy within the year. If you make a movie that is so terrible you can’t look away, it will live on forever.

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I Hate Music, Especially When It’s Played

I Hate Music, Especially When It’s Played

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If you don’t like King Khan and BBQ Show, you’re wrong and we can’t be friends anymore. I’m serious. Take it on the road, fella. Granted, they are a little rough around the edges, but their image is flawless. I’m not sure what their image is, but I’ll figure it out eventually. They’re sort of intergalactic male strippers who’ve put on a little weight, and channeled the spirit of a pissed off Buddy Holly on PCP. I say that like it’s a bad thing, but it’s the best thing. This song is what I’d refer to as a screamer, because it makes you want to scream along. Not sing the words exactly, but it makes you want to scream something.

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What’s the Difference Between a Singer and a Terrorist?

What’s the Difference Between a Singer and a Terrorist?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxJXtF3FQCM#t

Answer: you can negotiate with a terrorist.

It may surprise many of you, but I fancy myself as somewhat of a musician. I used to play with some people here and there, but my career was relatively short compared to most musicians; I stopped before it was too late. I look back on my sweaty, musical days very fondly. I met a lot of great people, and played at a lot of interesting gigs, but one show stands out in my mind above the rest.

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