Of course, it’s generally after you’ve taken the whole thing apart, and are sitting in the middle of the garage with bits and pieces strewn all around you.
Honestly, next thing some girl will be telling us to stop the car and ask perfect strangers for directions. Like they’d know more about anything than you would. Girls are just jealous because Nuvi has a sexier voice than they do, and you actually listen to her.
Our intrepid narrator and tinkerer, sounding like he just downed three Seconals with a bourbon chaser, gives us a tour of his various “Honeydew List” projects. In the past, I used to make a joke about building a house and then slipping the foundation under it later when impatient prospective homeowners wondered aloud why we had to wait until spring to pour a foundation for their house, but this wildman seems to actually done it with his shed. He’s a better man than me, that’s for sure.
He also seems to have a PHD in Simpson angle brackets, those L-shaped pieces of metal that he uses to hold his entire world together. He’s like the Michelangelo of angle brackets. But of course, no tour around his home-cum-bunker would be complete without showing you his homebrew airplane. His narration of the structure of his spruce goose is magnificent:
… you take these pieces of metal like this, and install them, every so often, on the wing…
Now that’s aviation engineering at the bleeding edge of innovation, isn’t it? You know John Denver would buy that thing from him. If he was still alive, I mean.
If I were his neighbors, I’d be heading on out to Lowes, and buying all the angle brackets they have, and beefing up my roof with them. It’s useless to go to Home Depot for the brackets. He’s cleaned them out.
You wonder how much longer the Air Force is going bother putting people in a cockpit. Drones with standard nerds pushing the buttons seems to be the way things are going. You can save a lot of money on the saddle if you don’t have to worry about keeping the jockey on the horse. But it sure is a wondrous thing, isn’t it?
Because flying in aircraft made in a factory in Russia isn’t dangerous enough.
(via Small Dead Animals)