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Category: Fighting

MMA: The Only Sport Where You’re Supposed To Kick People While They’re Down

MMA: The Only Sport Where You’re Supposed To Kick People While They’re Down

My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

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That’s All Well And Good, But What Happens When He Punches You In The Face?

That’s All Well And Good, But What Happens When He Punches You In The Face?

My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two season of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do!

At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Now, for only $300 you can sign up right now — for my eight-week program.

Or you can buy a bat-suit and let your friends beat the hell out of you for giggles.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

(Warning: some salty language and lots of gratuitous violence)

Spinning around like an idiot until you accidentally hit someone is my favorite style of fighting. Next to back-alley hobo brawls, I can’t think of anything I’d be more likely to participate in or watch. I don’t really go for fighting in your underwear, that just seems a bit childish. What I would really like to see is businessmen MMA fighting. Two executives delivering astounding flying-heel kicks in their tassel oxfords seems much more interesting than two bald, sweaty, naked guys rolling all over each other. I’m all for gratuitous violence, but at least have a sense of style.