Seriously, everyone needs to start skipping gym class in school, and start paying attention in Physics, and Engineering, and Interior Design classes. They should all probably revert to letting their mothers dress them, too, or at least buy mirrors.
I don’t know what Jesus from The Big Lebowski is doing in the gym. I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing on the lat machine, exactly. I don’t know if he takes all the tires off his car and rides around town by turning the steering wheel back and forth really fast while vigorously scooching forward on the seat.
I have no idea what’s going on. But I want to hire out an auditorium and stage a steel cage match between this guy and the Techno-Viking. Admit it, you’d buy tickets.
I mean, seriously, have you seen what women wear? It’s like circus clothes mostly. And they’ll put anything on their feet. Have you ever tried one of those girlie cocktails they’re drinking in the bar? They taste like cough syrup and Fresca mixed together and strained through an underwear drawer sachet. Women even occasionally get the notion they’re qualified to put their cars into reverse while parking. Honestly, women get bad ideas all day long.
But no woman has ever had a worse idea than leaving a baby at home alone with its father. Evar. Nothing good can come of it. A baby can do pretty fair without adult supervision, it’s true. Dad never can.