https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9PNkgv6QTI
Way out in East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of чувак. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. The чувак, he called himself the чувак. Now, чувак — that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the чувак that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
That’s right folks, there’s close to 28 minutes of this. I think I can safely make fun of this without the fear of any backlash from the musical community. I’ve been told that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all art is subjective, but come on, fellas. You can do better than this. I feel like a million angry bees are trying to burrow into my brain as my alarm clock eats me alive while the entire world disintegrates. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but can you tone it down a little? You’re at about a ten — I need you at a four. You fellas make Philip Glass look like Ke$ha.
Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of GIF Guy. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. GIF Guy, he called himself the GIF Guy. Now, GIF Guy — that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the GIF Guy that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
I’d buy their album. I’d get the exclusive, tour t-shirt. I’d wait around after the show just so I could tell the drummer that he rocked my socks off. I’d tell my friends to go download their tracks off YouTube and then maybe buy the album if they were feeling it. I’d do all of these things if I could be bothered, but I’m a very busy man who can’t chase around every band that catches my fancy. That’s what groupies are for anyways — and I don’t have breasts, so what good would I be?
There are other ways to support a band that you like other than fanatically buying all of their albums, mix-tapes, and bootlegs. You can always send them a strongly worded letter about how rad you think they are, or leave nice messages on their answering machine. I used to burn nice notes into their front lawn at night, so they’d wake up to find a few pleasant words. Unfortunately, I’m legally obliged to never do that again. Some people take their lawn very seriously, apparently.
Remember, it’s the thought that counts. Whether you buy a band’s album, subscribe to their YouTube, or send them an ear, they’ll always be appreciative. Except for the ear part, don’t do that. Paul McCartney really didn’t appreciate getting another one of those in the mail.