I’d buy their album. I’d get the exclusive, tour t-shirt. I’d wait around after the show just so I could tell the drummer that he rocked my socks off. I’d tell my friends to go download their tracks off YouTube and then maybe buy the album if they were feeling it. I’d do all of these things if I could be bothered, but I’m a very busy man who can’t chase around every band that catches my fancy. That’s what groupies are for anyways — and I don’t have breasts, so what good would I be?

There are other ways to support a band that you like other than fanatically buying all of their albums, mix-tapes, and bootlegs. You can always send them a strongly worded letter about how rad you think they are, or leave nice messages on their answering machine. I used to burn nice notes into their front lawn at night, so they’d wake up to find a few pleasant words. Unfortunately, I’m legally obliged to never do that again. Some people take their lawn very seriously, apparently.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts. Whether you buy a band’s album, subscribe to their YouTube, or send them an ear, they’ll always be appreciative. Except for the ear part, don’t do that. Paul McCartney really didn’t appreciate getting another one of those in the mail.