Our ol’ friends here are back to repair this 1960 Plymouth Fury. It is a mighty attractive car, mainly because of the chrome trim. Now, I come from the future, and all cars are covered in chrome. In fact, absolutely everything is covered in chrome in the future. We have chrome chairs, chrome bathtubs, even chrome houses. I have an adorable chrome cat, and chrome grass grows in my lawn. Now, you may be thinking, “Why chrome?” Is it the only metal available in the future? Maybe chrome serves a structural purpose; maybe it makes everything work better.
Well, it’s because chrome looks cool.
A Little Bit of Junkyard Heaven: Clutching Buds in the Mud
Our old friends Cold War Motors are back with a new vidjayo, and it’s the usual glorious gas-powered foolishness. They’re hunting the elusive Mopar slant-six engine. A slant six has six cylinders all in a row, canted to one side. I loved my slant six Dart beater back in the day. The whole (stage) left side of the engine compartment is empty, and you can put your feet in there while sitting on the fender and banging on the engine, which you’ll do quite often, because Mopar.
Officially, this car is just being detailed. That’s what these guys do. A man with a Triumph Spitfire taking up space in his unraked leaves gave it away to our heroes here if they would simply agree to get it out of there. Woohoo! Free car. Of course “free car” didn’t mean “free lunch,” so there was plenty of elbow grease required to put humpty hoopty back together again. So what? People go to a lot more trouble and expense to restore less interesting cars. A Triumph Spitfire is a blast to drive. You just have to learn the correct prayers and incantations to intone before turning the key. Look on the bright side: it was just as likely to not start when it was brand new as it is now. It’s a British car, and wiring harness smoke is factory installed.
I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be inside a screaming metal deathtrap. I was expecting more of a 2001 A Space Odyssey sort of thing where you can watch yourself turn into a giant freaky space baby, so I’m a bit disappointed. There was a distinct lack of space babies in this video and way too much salt for my liking.
The driver seems to be okay. I saw bits of him moving after the crash, but whether or not those bits are attached to anything important is anyone’s guess.