My name is Dillon, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of picking up chick that I developed over two seasons of flying over California. It’s called Dillon Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to fly with the strength of an osprey, the reflexes of a cockatoo, and the wisdom of a man.
(Note: activate annotations for the most entertaining subtitles of any YouTube video)
Vodka fixes everything — this is a fact. I know it’s a fact, and I will continue to shout it into the abyss that is the Intertunnel until the day I get bored and stop. The only reason that plane was able to land safely was because of the obscene amount of vodka that fellow brought in his carry-on bags. Without vodka there is chaos, so he probably just averted an international catastrophe of epic proportions.
A Russian cannot function unless he has a couple drinks in him, so vodka man was doing his fellow countrymen a great service. Unfortunately, you can only get so drunk off a simple bottle of vodka, which is why I think that Russians will stop drinking vodka altogether. Having it injected intravenously is a much better option
Call me an old fogie, but I would have liked this video just as much if the plane stayed in one piece. I find the booming and zooming of a light aircraft to be absolutely delightful. Even though this video confirms my distrust of small planes, I still think they’re cool. They sort of remind me of tigers with wings. They’re absurd, dangerous, and difficult to operate, but that doesn’t seem to keep this fellow from landing one without a propeller. A plane that is, I don’t believe tigers can actually grow wings.
Now, this doesn’t make a lick of sense, so it’s perfectly at home here on the Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys.
If every alpha male listened to the naysayers instead of their interior voice that tells them, “Hey, you jumped almost that far once before,” then we wouldn’t get anything done in this world. No one would have discovered that a snowmobile will run on Bacardi 151 rum, at least for a while; or that you can get on a Rose Parade float and wave like the Pope for half an hour, easy, before anyone catches on; or that you can brush your teeth with whiskey if you run out of cognac; or that go-karts work just fine in malls; or that startling prone sunbathing girls with their spaghetti straps undone yields primo results if you can run faster than their sunbathing boyfriends…
(Thanks to our friend Leon for sending that one along)