Dude, stop. The thing isn’t even fighting back, it’s had enough. You could have just told us it wasn’t going to break and we would have believed you. You don’t have to hulk smash everything to get your point across.
It also seems appropriate to mention that maybe, just maybe, there are other ways to break open a window. You know, a way that wouldn’t require opening it. A way that it could be broken into with any household item, like a brick, hammer, or overcooked meatloaf. Just a little bit of blue-sky thinking here, don’t mind me.
According to George Orwell, advertising is “the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket.” Well, marketing is a form of advertising. Or is advertising a form of marketing? I forget which is what. Anyway, one thing I know for sure is that a 1988 Dodge Aries was a swill bucket, so we’re on the right track here.
I have noticed one flaw in the pitch, however. There’s no “call to action” at the end. He should urge you to go out and buy a 1988 Dodge Aries. That’s easier than it sounds, even though we’re in a millennium that begins with a “2” now. That’s because within a few months of manufacture, all Dodge Aries had broken down, been abandoned with the keys in the ignition in a bad neighborhood, been stolen, been abandoned by the thieves shortly after, towed, scrapped, crushed, and recycled into low-grade steel that was subsequently used to make cheap tricycles suitable for step-children. You can buy one at the local K-Mart. To get the biggest savings on your tricycle, make sure to make your purchase 15 minutes before the K-Mart closes, which in general is 15 minutes from whatever time you’re reading this.
Other than that: flawless.
Me, I Want What’s Coming to Me. The World, Chico. And All the Sunbeam Bread In It.
What I try to tell you? This country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the Wonder Bread. It gives you the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman. That’s why you gotta make your own moves.
This is what the face of evil. Pure unadulterated evil. Never mind Hitler, or Stalin, or Hillary Clinton. This is true evil. They went into a forest and made this beautifully produced video, and then at the end of it they showed their true purpose. It was all a commercial for a crappy cell phone shaped like a bean. Disgusting.