I assume boxing still exists in some form or fashion. Like a lot of sports, it doesn’t matter anymore, which is the same as being extinct to me. They have that wan replacement with barefoot guys with manbuns rolling around on the mat and barfighting occasionally. I’m not interested. Barfighting ain’t boxing.
We played hockey. In the street. We played Frisbee. In the street. We played Wiffle Ball. In the Street. We played Knock-Down with our baseball cards. Against the curb. In the street.
It’s a little known fact that this song plays on a loop in the elevator to hell, but it could be so much worse, so I’m thankful — at least it’s not Sultans of Swing.
Yoga: a silent, but deadly art form. Like a fart in the face of your enemy, yoga will mess that fella up.
Years of Kung fu training are no match for a man with an extremely bendy thumb. Then again, the sound of his joints cracking is enough to make a grown man wet himself. In the heat of combat that must be absolutely devastating. It’s almost as effective as taking a nail to a chalkboard, except you smack the guy with your super bendy arm afterwards.
The super bendy arm move is a great conversation starter. If you’re trying to chat someone up, tell them about your super bendy arm move. It always works for me.