If you ride around in your chair with a Sprint phone, you have the right of way. It’s the law. OK, maybe it isn’t a law. Maybe it’s just a rule. OK, it’s probably not a rule, either, but just sort of a guideline. Alright, maybe it doesn’t really qualify as a guideline, like driving on the right side of the road or never stepping on the cracks to avoid breaking your mother’s back. All I know is if you’ve got some sort of a Sprint phone, you can go wherever you want and you won’t get into any traffic issues. Plus, if you ride around in a chair, then it’s “finders keepers” for you, pal. You can steal a random basketball from the park, for example, and add it to your furniture entourage. You’re even legally allowed to use your black magic to turn it into a globe.

Apparently the only thing your Sprint phone can’t do is keep Sprint from getting swallowed by T-Mobile. I’m not sure if they get to keep the chairs.