Don’t put accelerants on bonfires? Says who? You’re not my real dad. You’re not my supervisor. Who died and put you in charge? Yeah, well, you and whose army is going to stop me?

Quick, which is more explosive? A full tank of gasoline, or an empty tank with a pint of gasoline in the bottom? I’m afraid you’re going to have to look up “fuel-air mixture” if the question, and the answer, flummoxes you. I’m not about to get all stoichiometric on you on a blog that mostly features people skateboarding too fast and playing with lawn darts.

Figuring out that sort of thing involves that kind of arithmetic with the letters in it. Just use diesel fuel instead of regular gas next time, and you should be fine. Most of you. Some of you. OK, the guy with the camera has a good chance of making it home for supper.

[Thanks to Johnny Glendale for sending that one along]