I Didn’t Choose The Thug Life, The Thug Life Chose Me
Way out West there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of the Dude. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. The Dude, he called himself the Dude. Now, the Dude — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call middle school Hell on Earth. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow it’s mighty Hellish. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what — after seeing middle school, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And mostly in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.
Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude, in middle school. And even if he is a lazy man — and the the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the most lazy man in middle school, which would place it high in the runnin’ for being laziest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell; I’ve done introduced him enough.