HULK SMASH PUNY WIDE RECEIVER
Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Darrell Reid. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Darrell Reid, he called himself Darrell Reid. Now, Darrell Reid — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Minnesota a frozen pockmark on the face of the United States. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow it’s a frozen wasteland. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what — after seeing Australia, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And mostly in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.
Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Darrell Reid here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Darrell Reid, in the Minnesota. And even if he is an insane man — and the Darrell Reid was most certainly that. Quite possibly the most insane man in Minnesota, which would place it high in the runnin’ for being most insane worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell; I’ve done introduced him enough.