You can tell that he hasn’t been doing this for very long because he still has all of his fingers, limbs, and appendages. Naturally, I’m impressed by his ability to identify and handle large turtles, but I’m a little wary of his flawless appearance. Yes, I see that he has a few little cuts, scuffs, and scratches, but where are his gaping wounds? I don’t think he’s ever been mauled by a tiger, or had his leg bitten off by a shark. What a rank amateur.

I’m sorry, but I prefer my nature-show presenters to have a little more experience with losing a lot of blood to wild animals. Unless you’ve stared down a rhinoceros while getting your leg nibbled off by a cheetah, I don’t think I can respect your credibility as an Internunnel-nature-show presenter.