https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=96&v=-EDiQXhYIKY

I watched Star Wars once, I think. I can remember some of the famous lines like: these are definitely the droids you’re looking for, mays the forces be withs yous, and beam me up, Scotty. Yes, I remember now. I watched all the Star Wars movies in one sitting after being immobilized due to a bad accident. My bottom had to be placed in a large, stainless steel butt cast, which kept me in bed for about a month. I call it an accident, but it was a lot more complicated than that. I got my butt kicked after telling the wrong person that I didn’t particularly like Sultans of Swing. The cast had a large hatch, so I could go poop, but the zipper didn’t work very well.

I could have been hallucinating the whole time, who knows. Heavy sedation and painkillers for my sore butt will often lead to strange memories. I only remember fleeting parts of the movies. Each scene fades in and out like a hectic fever dream. I think that Jar Jar Blinks guy was the main character, but I might be wrong.

There was this really great scene about halfway through the first movie where Obi-Wan and Luke went to a Chinese restaurant in North LA after blowing up the Vogon fleet that was about to destroy the Earth. The shot starts outside and then slowly pans up to the window, and you can clearly see both Obi-Wan and Luke sitting at a small table in the corner. Then it cuts to an inside shot, and you can see that Luke is really struggling to use his chop sticks. After a few minutes of watching him struggle Obi-Wan leans in and says:

“Use the forks, Luke.”

I might be remembering it incorrectly, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened.