Please, For The Love Of God, Stop Hitting It, Joe

Please, For The Love Of God, Stop Hitting It, Joe

Look Joe, I’m sure you’re a nice guy and you mean well, but people in other time zones are trying to get some sleep and they can hear you all the way from Shanghai, so give it a break for a minute. If you don’t, I’m afraid you won’t be hitting it; it will be hitting you. And by it, I mean me, because I’m going to start beating you with a sock full of quarters if you don’t quiet down.

Now I don’t want to be the bad guy Joe, so if you stop now I’ll let you go home to your tub of peanut butter and fluff while I torch your instruments and throw the ashes into the sea where they won’t hurt anyone anymore. After I’m done with that I’m flying to Austria, so I can wipe that dirty grin off Franzl Lang’s smug face. He won’t be so damn happy after I give him a taste of his own bratwurst.

4 thoughts on “Please, For The Love Of God, Stop Hitting It, Joe”

  1. Aw, Joe’s just doing the same things Kids These Days do with their Garage Band looping tracks, only with a lot more banging. Back in Joe’s day, EDM was a player piano keeping the beat for a month long dance marathon. He was a man ahead of his time. Until he got woefully behind.

    The yodelling, though, there’s just no call for that outside of warfare. I’m pretty sure they used it to bring down avalanches and make German soldiers heads explode.

  3. man Franzl ‘s mouth opens a unnaturally large amount. i’m not sure how you make the sounds he does with your mouth open most all the way to your wisdom teeth. go look at yourself singing if you don’t believe me. most of the time your mouth is only open to your eye teeth.

  4. I think that’s Stan Schmenge of “The Happy Wanderers.” Only thing missing is Mrs. Vilveyatchke’s stuffed cabbage rolls and coffee.

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