Nature Hates You
It feels nice to be safe at home huddled up behind the warm glow of my computer monitor. It feels even nicer knowing that most insects in my neighborhood can’t kill me. But they can try, and oh how they will try.
When you go outside every single thing you encounter wants to crack open your head and feast on the goo inside. Cats, dogs, mice, bats, rats, and politicians all want to swallow you whole. You’re safe during election season, but watch yourself after that. Insects on the other hand, want to grind your bones into putty and use it to fill the cracks in their tile. They want to fill up a kiddie pool with human entrails and dance around in it. Nothing is more reprehensible than an insect. Arachnids hate insects almost as much as we do, but they’re compelled only by their lust for blood. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
4 thoughts on “Nature Hates You”
I’ve been involved in some cringe-worthy sound design, but this one, I thought, with its “monster” sfx, “scary” vo and overly dramatic mx, beat the worst of mine. When they laid in the bugle Charge, however, they may have set a record for most cheese in one segment. When I ran the zoo, that would have gone back, with a slight rebuke and a soupçon of shame.
Hi Johnny, thanks for reading and commenting.
The pig squeals and orchestra hits are a little over the top, but the lion roars and bugle sounds are absolutely necessary,
@Charlie: I’ve always been willing to listen to reason, but in your case I’ll make an exception. You’re absolutely right, this is the perfect mix for 2014 – I guess I was thinking old school. I’ll buy it. Happy 4th!
I think the most interesting part about this is that the narrator is the same guy who narrates “Too Cute”.
Err, not that I’d know.
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