[Note: I would advise starting the video from the 37 second mark to get to the juicy bits]

I think we all knew someone like this in high school. That one kid who would always wear an overcoat in the summer, and try to show you his collection of roadkill. You know, the guy who would try to pick up girls by telling them about all the knives he has in his trailer. If no one is coming to mind then you’re missing out. Nothing beats awkwardly eating lunch with a guy who’s really passionate about sharp objects.

Anyways, our old friend seems to be doing quite well for himself. He’s still got that knife fetish, but that’s easy to look past. At least he’s employed. I figured I’d see him on the wrong end of a police standoff someday, but being wrong can sometimes be an immense relief. If you ever bump into him, please for the love of god don’t tell him where I live. When I was a freshman I accidentally called his butterfly knife a switchblade, and I’ve been hiding from him ever since.