Electric Cars Ain’t New. For Example, the Aurora Thunderjet 500

Electric Cars Ain’t New. For Example, the Aurora Thunderjet 500

I know more about electric cars than Enron Musk, because I had an Aurora Thunderjet 500 racing set when I was a kid. It was a hand-me-down, so the steering wheel controller was snapped off, and you had to hold onto the jagged plastic stub to speed up and slow down. We had more, and better cars, too, but the original set contained a Mustang and a Corvette and that’s enough for any red-blooded kids to argue over.

Today’s console racing games are amazing. Gran Turismo lets you drive just about any car on just about any track against any kind of competition you like. However, it’s entirely imaginary. Taking those old Aurora Thunderjet 500 cars apart and putting them back together was more than half the fun. And you’ll never remember the smell of the Special Racing Oil from a Playstation game.

Said It Before, I’ll Say It Again: It’s All Conversation Compared To The Military

Said It Before, I’ll Say It Again: It’s All Conversation Compared To The Military

We’re paying attention to the choppah pilot and the boat, as is appropriate, of course, but let’s take a moment to consider: The Man With the Flags. We could call him the Landing Signal Officer, but where’s the fun in that? He’s The Man With the Flags to us. It’s much jauntier, don’t you think?

I don’t think it would be a very pleasant place to stand, that spot that The Man With the Flags stands in. The pilot at least has a windshield between him and Armageddon. The boat captain is wearing a very big suit of armor indeed. But The Man With the Flags is just out there in his uni, waving his arms around and muttering to himself like a man with Tourette’s, hoping that dang flier doesn’t sneeze at an inopportune moment and send The Man With the Flags into an improvised heli-patrolboat cuisinart.

Here’s to you, Man With the Flags. We salute you! But don’t salute back just now, or Orville will ditch it in the Atlantic and you’ll get busted back to swabbie.

This New House, With Your Host, Abnormal Abram

This New House, With Your Host, Abnormal Abram

Hi, I’m Abnormal Abram. Welcome to this episode of This New House. On today’s episode, we’ll lovingly craft a kitchen cabinet from eco-friendly, sustainable sawdust, staples, formaldehyde, and shelf paper.

Of course some viewers will misunderstand why I’m going so fast. Some will think that I’m racing to finish the cabinets so that the kitchen will be done in time to cook dinner. Nah. Some will misapprehend that I’m racing to finish the cabinets in order to make more money. But I’m paid hourly, not piecework. Others will guess wrong and assume I’m trying to finish the cabinets before the general contractor can get a building permit at the town hall, which is certainly the case because the Conservation Committee only meets once a month. But that’s not it.

It’s just that I gotta finish this before I take a whizz. Don’t worry, I’ll go back to malingering after.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

https://youtu.be/Nf3BneTTd2s
Where the rubber meets the road, and the road meets the ocean, and the pedal meets the metal, and the airplanes meet the aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford for the first time.