Sooner Or Later, We’re Going To Have To Act Somewhat Adult-ish

Sooner Or Later, We’re Going To Have To Act Somewhat Adult-ish

Let’s face facts, lads. Sooner or later we’re going to have to grow up.

No, no — no use in whining. We’ll have to put the supersoakers filled with lighter fluid and rigged with a Zippo up on the shelf. That go-kart you put the Hayabusa motor on will need to be parked in the garage next to the leaf blower you made from a jet engine. You’re going to have to store all your serrated steel frisbees in that barrel you used to go over the falls. It’s time to be a man.

We must procreate. I realize you’ve been making the bouncy-bouncy like a lab rat on crack for quite some time, but sooner or later it’s got to matter. It’s minivan time. Time to extend the line, before you hit the wall. This fellow in the  video has the right idea. Time to get domestic.

Besides, if you have a little kid with you in Toys R Us, you can buy twice as many LEGO sets without people looking at you funny.

(Thanks to Brian Erb for sending that one along)

Little Known Fact: If You Learned To Fight By Watching Movies, You’d Be Disemboweled In A Viking Slap Fight

Little Known Fact: If You Learned To Fight By Watching Movies, You’d Be Disemboweled In A Viking Slap Fight

Then again, nothing you learn by watching movies is of any use to you in the real world anyway. Romance in movies is a protection order in real life. You will not become Marvin Hagler because you’re angry. And I don’t know how to break it to you, but animals and babies can’t talk.

Before NASA Was Replaced By NASACAR There Was Joe Kittinger

Before NASA Was Replaced By NASACAR There Was Joe Kittinger

Joe Kittinger was suitably saluted by the crew that put Felix Baumgartner up at the edge of space to break his record. But we should never forget the difference between a stunt and feat of real daring, made in the interest of pushing the human race forward.

“If I have seen a little further, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” said Sir Isaac Newton, himself standing on the shoulders of John of Salisbury.

Sometimes they’re red-headed, freckled giants.