Do You Even Lift, Bro?
This is a Borderline Sociopathic Blog-Approved workout routine. But then again, I pretty much approve of all workout routines that I’m not involved in.
NEVER GIVE UP! Unless You’re A Frostbitten Asiatic Clam. If You’re One Of Those, You’re Screwed
Commander Taggart approves.
The Love Child Of Mr. Clean And Angela Merkel Weaponizes Confectionery Sandwich Cookies
Oreos make surprisingly good projectile weapons. Not lethal, of course, but it’s as good as a beanbag shotgun for crowd control. The rioter you hit will get an owie, and the rest of the crowd will stop to eat the Oreo, thus ending any street melee situation.
Of course the Geneva Convention expressly forbids using Twinkies in crowd control weapons. I can’t remember if it’s mentioned under germ warfare or biological agents.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. You can always find him in the front ranks of any mob actions where Oreo crowd control weapons might be deployed. With his mouth open)
It’s Just Another Day For Aussie Contractor Man
Aussie Contractor Man is in the market in Perth, where a toddler stops breathing. The toddler’s mother doesn’t know who to turn to. Aussie Contractor Man knows what to do. Heimlich in case something’s lodged in there, and then the breath of life. Aussie Contractor Man puts the life back in the little girl, because that’s what Aussie Contractor Man is prone to do. Stuff like that. Way to go, Aussie Contractor Man, says daddy of toddler, with a big hug at the end. Aussie Contractor Man dispenses hugs, too, if you need one. It’s just how Aussie Contractor Man rolls.
Aussie Contractor Man.