I’ve never heard anyone chuckle that way that wasn’t up to no good. But I”m sure old friend Joerg Sprave wouldn’t hurt you, unless you were a zombie or something. Then he’d chuckle and let you have it.
(Thanks to reader Sam Dunkin in Oregon for sending that one along)
I wonder what this guy’s resume looks like. It would be pretty hard to work this sort of thing into your CV when applying for a job. I imagine you just sound like someone that says Morgan Fairchild is your wife. The old hag in HR isn’t going to have a couple of pianos in the conference room, so she’d can’t give you the piano-moving equivalent of a typing test. Maybe they figure the guy that tells the biggest whopper will be the most fun, and hire him on that basis. Then he does it, and they have to tell him to get back to work, and stop goofing off all the time.
(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along. I’ve heard he can move Hammond Organs with a Calliope on his back)
Good news, everyone! Videos like these demonstrate why the Social Security Trust Fund is no longer in danger of running out of money, because there’s no way in hell that the next generation will live to collect it. Half of them will die of diabetes and heart attacks before they’re forty from doing nothing but watching YouTube videos all day while eating nothing but Beefaroni from the can, Pringles, and washing it down with Mountain Dew; and the other half will be burned to death while making YouTube videos for the first half to watch.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. The BSBFB is grateful that he turned down the gig as Spinal Tap’s drummer back in the eighties to concentrate on his career as a Salvation Army musical director)
What do you have in the half of your garage your wife lets you putter in? A table saw? Coupla hammers? Forty screw-top jars full of wood screws, and a handsaw?
Whatever it is, I doubt it’s a centuries-old drop hammer and an open forge. You’re not wandering around in your basement, shirtless and dirty, hiding your beer when anyone’s looking, and mashing red hot iron things all day, are you? No, you’re still trying to put your wife’s Dyson vacuum back together after you tried (and failed) to repair the cord retractor.
Perhaps this is just a ruse; a multi-century dodge. Maybe these guys aren’t actually making anything. They just turn that bad boy on, and any womenfolk present immediately leave to escape the noise and heat, and then they just stand around in there drinking beer and watching NASCAR the whole time. Maybe he’s a genius, besides owning The Manliest Workshop In The World.
(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)