Say You’re Sorry And We’ll Call It Even, Eh?

Say You’re Sorry And We’ll Call It Even, Eh?

We’re Canadians, and if you study with our eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that we developed over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Canadian Kwon Do! After one week with us in our eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to fight with the strength of a light breeze, the reflexes of gerbil, and the wisdom of a man.

…

Read More Read More

A Boy And His Front-End Loader

A Boy And His Front-End Loader

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA0WDoTtTT8

I can safely say that this kid works longer and harder than I ever will. Mostly because I’m utterly useless, but that doesn’t change the fact that this kid is more of a man than I will ever be. This video is about as old as the Intertunnel itself, so there’s a good chance that the kid is now old enough to light his own cigarettes and open beer bottles with his newly-formed front teeth.  I hope he got a promotion, because he’ll have spent half his life working the same job by the time he’s 10.

…

Read More Read More

Pancho and Lefty

Pancho and Lefty

I’ve never been fond of dogs. I don’t dislike them exactly, but I don’t like them. You’re never supposed to trust a man who doesn’t like dogs and I would have to agree. I’m not very good company under the best circumstances, and hard times bring out the worst in me. Dogs can also put a damper on my mood.

…

Read More Read More

It’s No George Foreman Grill, But It’s Still Pretty Good

It’s No George Foreman Grill, But It’s Still Pretty Good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yO8f-fySnQ

Kids these days. Sheesh. They can harness the power of red-hot lava, but they don’t know how to make a meal consisting of more than string-cheese, Faygo and Pringles. You just burned enough steak to keep me from eating beef jerky for several hours, you nitwits.

I freely admit I was somewhat impressed by your lava-grill, which appears to reach temperatures nearly as hot as the jet engine hibachi I use for informal get-togethers.  But with great exothermic reactions comes great responsibility.  A real man eats his steak while it still has a pulse.

…

Read More Read More