You know, I wanna shoot everything in slow motion. I’ve seen movies. When a bad guy starts spraying and praying, you see those rounds coming downrange and just bend over backwards and they fly right past your face. Easy peasy. Then you totally kick his ass. Totally. In slow motion, of course. Slow motion seems to make everything possible. …
Hmm. Not exactly what sort of “farm” this is. They appear to be farming the Internet, mostly. I guess that makes you and me ruminant animals. You know what happens to them on a farm. I can’t lay any eggs, either, so I might be in even more trouble.
But surely I quibble. Or Shirley I quibble, maybe. I don’t know Annie Oakley Sunglasses’s name. I don’t know where she’s from, either, but it does seem awful hot wherever it is. I’ve been to the equator, and people wear more clothes there than she does, so she must live on Mercury or something. …
Hey, that’s a World War II vintage training plane, isn’t it? Neato. It’s coughing smoke like a 1989 Chevy Citation, but other than that, it looks like it’s in fine shape. The guy flying it looks like a jaunty fellow. Low-key, just like all the fellows that learned to fly in that thing back in the day. I bet Jimmy Stewart learned to fly in one of those planes, or something similar. He was a B-17 pilot, for reals. He didn’t go Hollywood when he enlisted. He went to war. …
Anyone who will jump a VW campervan over nothing is a god among men, of course. Jumping a campervan over something substantial, like the Grand Canyon or a Massachusetts pothole in February, would be daring, but jumping a campervan over absolutely nothing takes more than daring. It requires Also Sprach Zarathustra, and a GoPro camera. …