My name is Devon Larratt, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of arm-wrestling that I learned over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Devon Larratt Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to wrestle with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a drummer.
My name is Mainus, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Mainus Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
Seems pretty legit to me. This is as real as real gets. It’s like CNN, the New York Times, and MSNBC had a semi-retarded lovechild; that’s how real it is. I can’t see a single element of this that’s forged, fabricated, counterfeited, or faked. This is some hard-hitting, bone-crunching, butt-clenching, face-melting wrestling going on, and I’m not going to stand for anyone telling me otherwise.
Macho Man Randy Savage would be proud to see this if he was still alive. He’s looking down on us from above right now, and he’s pleased, brother. Ooh, yeah, brother!
It’s right up there with Famous Indigent Yachtsmen, and The Big Book Of Busty Blondes That Buy Their Own Drinks.
Born Pavel Bojar, he’s now calling himself Takanoyama Shuntarō, and he’s really only skinny for a regular ol’ sumo wrestler. He weighs 216 pounds. Takanoyama means “noble mountain” in Japanese, but he seems more of a molehill compared to the other guys.
I do not see how anyone could possibly not root for the guy in every match. He’s David to every Goliath. But after watching his method for taking on these lumbering beasts, I got to thinking: wouldn’t every offensive guard in the NFL be able to wipe the floor with any of these guys? Except Takanoyama, of course; he’s shifty. Shifty always wins. Just ask your boss.