Wait A Minute — Are You Saying That Wrestling Is Fake?

Wait A Minute — Are You Saying That Wrestling Is Fake?

Seems pretty legit to me. This is as real as real gets. It’s like CNN, the New York Times, and MSNBC had a semi-retarded lovechild; that’s how real it is. I can’t see a single element of this that’s forged, fabricated, counterfeited, or faked. This is some hard-hitting, bone-crunching, butt-clenching, face-melting wrestling going on, and I’m not going to stand for anyone telling me otherwise.

Macho Man Randy Savage would be proud to see this if he was still alive. He’s looking down on us from above right now, and he’s pleased, brother. Ooh, yeah, brother!

I watched wrestling once, so I sort of know what I’m talking about. I get a lot more enjoyment from watching the pregame interviews for very obvious reasons, but there was a time when I actually sat down and watched a match in its entirety. I haven’t done it again, so that should be all the information you need.

The match itself was pretty interesting. It was one of those international cage match deals with wrestlers from all around the world. There was one America, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and one sumo wrestler. The world was a much smaller place back then. anyways they were all posturing and grappling for a bit before they all team up on the American wrestler. They wind up knocking him down after a lot of rigamarole, and then they all went to their respective corners.

At this point in the match the crowd was going wild, the announcer sounded like he was going to have a hernia, and three wrestlers were standing up on the ring posts, ready to pounce on the American.

First, the Englishman jumped and shouted, “God save the queen!”

Then the Scotsman jumped and shouted, “God save Scotland!”

At this point the whole place was a terrible mess, there was a big pile of struggling bodies in the center of the ring and the sumo wrestler was still standing up on the post. After a few moments, the camera panned over to the sumo wrestler who jumped and shouted:

“God save whoever I land on!”

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