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Category: winter

No One On The Internet Knows Anything, Except How To Be On the Internet

No One On The Internet Knows Anything, Except How To Be On the Internet

Well, these sawblades don’t seem to work well as snow tires. The videographers only speak metric, so I have no idea how to compare apples to hectares or anything, but I could have saved them a lot of trouble and told them it wouldn’t work well before they even tried it.  I can immediately see two flaws in the plan: Giant saw blades cost much more than snow tires. Strike one. Strike two is they don’t understand how saw blades work. They’ve mounted them on the axles facing the same way they’d be placed in stationary machine to cut wood. If they knew anything about saws, they’d have mounted the blades facing backwards. Then it would have moved the car forward without cutting into the ice much, but would also completely stop the car from sliding backwards, and the braking would have been amazing. That’s what good tires do anyway. Ham and egg carpenters mount their blades backward in chop saws to cut soft metals like brass sorta safely for the same reason.

Epic Snow Removal

Epic Snow Removal

Get any snow yesterday? The meteorologist was predicting a blizzosnowiceopocalypse. If you’re from the southerly latitudes, and don’t know how we do it up north, here’s an example of how everyone in Maine shovels their driveway. Except everyone in Maine has their driveway plowed, except for the 70 percent of the population who plow driveways for a living, who plow their own.

 

Ice Kart Racing Is the New Hotness

Ice Kart Racing Is the New Hotness

Why isn’t this “a thing”? If it is a thing, I didn’t know it’s a thing. If it is a thing already, I apologize for not knowing it’s a thing. If it’s not a thing, I demand that it become a thing, pronto.

Honestly, axe throwing is a thing. Escape rooms are a thing. Talking on social media about pizza or tacos like they were caviar and Dom is a thing. They’re not nearly as cool, if you will, as ice kart racing. Of course the video is from Russia, where they have ice on July 4th at noon. But gentlemen, we cannot afford an ice kart gap!

(Thanks to longtime friend of the BSBFB, Charles Schneider, for sending that one along)