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Category: What is this I don’t even

Tricycle Cars Are Very Dignified Vehicles, No Doubt

Tricycle Cars Are Very Dignified Vehicles, No Doubt

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First, they made three-wheel cars. Now this? Just make our flying cars already. Everyone has been talking about having flying cars for years now. But no, you had to invent the Internet and smart phones. You don’t have to be dramatic and remove the wheels one at a time. You’re not playing Jenga. In fact, when I play Jenga, I get straight to the point. I take out every piece from the bottom at once. Surely, you can do the same thing with your cars. It’s not like you’ll get kicked out of every party like I do. You guys can party after you invent those darn hover-cars!

Seriously, though. Try my Jenga Strategy. It’s sheer genius.

 

 

Metal Band That Plays Air Hoses – Nonmetal Band?

Metal Band That Plays Air Hoses – Nonmetal Band?

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This got me thinking, “What is music?” Masterpieces such as this are called music, so is avant-garde noise. You could dress like a bunch of emo vampires and vent your ten years of frustration into the microphone, and that could be music, too. Is music art? If so, these things would fit right in.

Shout at strangers on the street, and you’re disturbing the peace. Do it on a stage, and you’re a musician.

Meh, The Manga Was Better

Meh, The Manga Was Better

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I raced in this tournament once, and won. Back then I had a gorgeous race horse. She was white, fluffy, and ran like a maniac. I couldn’t wait to get out on the track and show the other racers how it’s done. The race began and I swiftly took the lead. Things were looking up for me. However, halfway around the track my horse stopped to lay eggs. That’s when I realized that they gave me a giant chicken. I’d been gypped.

But then the eggs hatched at the last minute and the little chicks won the race for me. That’s just how it works around here, I guess.

We Get It, You Have Hands, We’re All Very Impressed

We Get It, You Have Hands, We’re All Very Impressed

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I’ve talked about handy men before, but now we have another breed of handy men. These men praise their hands. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a big fan of opposable thumbs and all that, but I think “Unus” here is making too big a deal out of them. He believes his hands are the best thing ever just because he can stand on them and spin some rings with them. I say forget the hands and let’s talk about your legs, which survived a ten foot drop! Shouldn’t you be more concerned about those? You just might be a superhero.