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Category: weapons

The Love Child Of Mr. Clean And Angela Merkel Weaponizes Confectionery Sandwich Cookies

The Love Child Of Mr. Clean And Angela Merkel Weaponizes Confectionery Sandwich Cookies

Oreos make surprisingly good projectile weapons. Not lethal, of course, but it’s as good as a beanbag shotgun for crowd control. The rioter you hit will get an owie, and the rest of the crowd will stop to eat the Oreo, thus ending any street melee situation.

Of course the Geneva Convention expressly forbids using Twinkies in crowd control weapons. I can’t remember if it’s mentioned under germ warfare or biological agents. 

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. You can always find him in the front ranks of any mob actions where Oreo crowd control weapons might be deployed. With his mouth open)

Why Do All The Weapon Shows Have It In For Watermelons?

Why Do All The Weapon Shows Have It In For Watermelons?

The BSBFB heartily approve of the weaponization of common household items. Four alarm chili, for example, can be turned into a biological weapon, or at least require a courtesy flush.

But what’s with all the melon hate? The watermelon is a proud component of every Borderline Boy’s diet, allowing you to spit things in front  of your mother without a scolding. The management of the BSBFB believes that watermelons deserve better. We hereby suggest that these proud melons be spared further destruction. Perhaps we could suggest an alternative target. Something everyone hates. You know, like purse dogs or school lunches.

(Thanks to BSBFB devotee Charles Schneider for sending that one along)