The Bond Villain School Of Marksmanship
Rule one of The Bond Villain School of Marksmanship: hit everywhere except the target. Maybe clip his shoulder if you really want to get dramatic, but stay away from any vital organs. Everyone who isn’t a main character is game, but if you were paying any attention during your training you shouldn’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn.
In the competitive minion market only the worst shots get hired. If you so much as fire within 20 feet of the target, your resume is going straight in the trash. Once you’ve been on the job for a while you can start actually firing at people, but until then don’t even aim. Take it from an expert. As an evil overload of deathly doom I can safely say that none of my minions even know what a gun looks like, let alone how to shoot one. That’s why I wholeheartedly endorse this new gangsta grip sensation that’s sweeping the nation. It’s all about intimidation, and property damage. Why should I use my minions to take out secret agents when I can use my brand new death laser of death? Exactly. The dang thing cost twelve tons of gold bullion, so I’m going to darn well use it.