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Category: pranks

North Korea Is Best Korea

North Korea Is Best Korea

I heard a rumor that Koreans were aggressive drivers, but I don’t think I could have possibly prepared myself for this. You can absolutely count me out of anything that involves boxing, Judo, and food preparation. Call me a sissy if you like, but these guys look hardcore, and I’m about as hardcore as a sea sponge with asthma.

I bet this wouldn’t happen in the peaceful rolling hills of North Korea. It’s sunny every day in North Korea, and the people are just as friendly as the weather. Nothing bad ever happens in North Korea — ever. Of course, no one actually has any cars, and even if they did they couldn’t move around or go anywhere, bit it’s the thought that counts. At least you’d be safe from roving vans full of street toughs who will leap from their vehicle and cut your cabbage at the slightest provocation.

All He Wanted Was A Pepsi

All He Wanted Was A Pepsi

As soon as I saw the little Live Leak stamp in the top left-hand corner, I knew I was in for a real treat. The last time I saw a Live Leak video someone had most of their limbs torn off, and that wasn’t even the main attraction of the video. The video was about the subtleties of baking a quality loaf of Italian bread, but when it’s on Live Leak you have to be ready for whatever happens. Unfortunately, the baker was not ready for that explosive chimney fire that engulfed him and the entire camera crew — then again, that’s why it was on Live Leak and not Home and Garden Television.

I don’t want to say that I’m disappointed, but people seemed to have reacted vaguely appropriately to a situation for once. No one responded with a hail of gunfire, and no one invited him to come over and look after their small children. There was a measured response that fell somewhere between get the hell out of my store and I’m putting as many locked doors between us as humanly possible and I’m calling the cops.

Then again, there’s always a chance that the fellow with the stocking on his head isn’t actually a robber, and he’s simply trying to fight off the evening chill, but the world may never know. The guy is just lucky that he escaped with every limb still attached to his body, and this didn’t turn into a real Live Leak video.

Calmer Than You Are

Calmer Than You Are

I imagine that the women at the beginning would react the same way if they saw someone in a wheelchair, a paraplegic, or a man in general. Some of the other people had appropriate reactions, but everyone’s complete fear of a man walking at them slowly and saying arggggggggghhhh is a bit strange to me. If he was covered in blood, or holding a weapon, or something, I would maybe understand their reaction, but no, he simply sauntered over.

Everyone’s deeply ingrained fear of disabled people bothers the heck out of me. I mean, come on, how hard can it be to take out a dismembered torso? One good punt and he’s out of your hair.

How To Woo Women: Volumes 1 – 24

How To Woo Women: Volumes 1 – 24

His mullet has an excellent business to party ratio. Just enough hair up front to let everyone know that he’s serious, but with enough unkempt mane in the back so everyone knows he’s a chill dude. He needs to go out and get some token tribal tattoos to complete his mullet, leather vest, and aviators ensemble. Maybe he can top his evening off by driving home in his Pontiac Firebird Trans Am and throwing a couple of cold beers on the grill and eat a raw, bloody steak — or whatever.

If I were of the female persuasion, I would think twice before pepper-spraying him in the face and calling the police.