New Zealand Man, not to be confused with Aussie Man, is a different sort of man entirely. While Aussie Man can pound down 10 cans of Fosters Lager an hour, New Zealand Man prefers to kick back with a nice barrel of Speight’s Gold Medal Ale. While Aussie Man lives in a place where everything that walks, crawls, or slithers on its belly is actively trying to kill him, New Zealand Man lives in relative comfort — because only half of all indigenous life is actively trying to kill him.
A while ago there were two brothers from Texas who were avid bungee jumpers. They loved bungee jumping so much that they constructed their own personal bungee-jumping apparatus behind their house so they could bungee jump whenever they want. Of course, they both had to work long, hard hours to pay for all the equipment, but for a while it was worth it. They’d work 12 hours a day all week, and then on the weekend they’d go home and bungee jump all day.
After about a year, the brothers started getting tired of working all the time and wanted to fully pursue their passion for bungee jumping. One weekend, instead of spending their time jumping all day, they devised a plan to open up a bungee-jumping resort, so they could bungee jump whenever they wanted to and get paid to do it. After some research, they discovered that it would be impossible for them to build their resort in the United States, because the taxes and insurance costs outweighed any profits they would make. The brothers were stumped for a long time, until it dawned on them: why not make the resort in Mexico? If they moved their operation to Mexico, government interference would be very lax, and all the building materials could be purchased for significantly less than it would cost in the United States.
Both the brothers quit their jobs right away and pooled all the money they had. The very next day, they were in Tijuana. They purchased a small plot of land from the locals and began constructing their bungee-jumping tower. During construction, the locals gathered outside the site to watch the brothers work. As the day went on, more and more people gathered until it seemed like the whole town was watching them work.
After a week of hard work, the initial bungee-jumping tower was finished. At this point, the brothers hadn’t bungee jumped for over a week, so they were dying to try it out. After construction completed, everyone who was watching the brothers work gathered underneath the tower to see their first jump. The first brother hooked himself up to the apparatus, and after all the necessary safety precautions, he jumped. He went down and then bounced back up just as planned, but after his first bounce, the brother came back up with what looked like some minor cuts. The second brother tried to catch him, but it was too late, the first brother was going back down for a second bounce. This time, the brother came back up with even more cuts and big bruises around his face. In a panic, the second brother started reeling in the bungee cord until his brother was back on the platform.
The first brother looked really beat up, but he didn’t have any broken bones or any serious injuries. “What happened?” shouted the second brother,”Is the cord too long? Did you hit the tower? Tell me what happened!”
The first brother says,”No, the cord was fine, but what the hell’s a pinata?”