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Category: hunting

Coincidentally, Feral Hogs Is The Name Of My Spice Girls Tribute Band

Coincidentally, Feral Hogs Is The Name Of My Spice Girls Tribute Band


I wonder if I could use one of these to capture a girlfriend. I’m not sure what to bait it with. Probably shoe store coupons. If all else fails, I’d make a little shrine in the center covered in Starbucks cups, Häagen-Dazs, and mixed drinks that taste like Zima dumped in a sugar bowl.

Meh. Perhaps capturing wild hogs isn’t the same as capturing a suitable mate. While it’s true that they both travel in packs and will devour your bait in minutes if you aren’t careful, potential girlfriends can usually tell when they’re walking into a trap. I’ve found that a giant cage swinging overhead is a dead giveaway, so I’ve learned to be more shrewd. I tell them, “If I were you, I wouldn’t go into this trap.”  For some reason, it works twice as well if you can get their father to tell them not to go into the trap.

I doubt the same technique will work on feral hogs because they don’t really get reverse psychology.

A-Hunting We Will Go

A-Hunting We Will Go


I just had a terrifying thought. What if these two guys are sober?

I’m not sure I’d like that. Drunk guys out wandering in the woods with high-powered rifles don’t scare me none. We just call that “hunting season” around here. A drunk person can’t hit anything, so there’s little to worry about. Even the deer just stand there and look at them funny. But I’d be worried about two sober hunters acting like that. They could hit something.

(thanks to our west coast friend Charles Schneider for sending that one along)