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Category: Hot Wheels

Aw, Yeah. Hot Wheels!

Aw, Yeah. Hot Wheels!

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Hot Wheels were never like this. Hot Wheels were always like this.

It was the best of die-cast times. It was the worst of die-cast times. We had Matchbox cars back in the day, and then Hot Wheels showed up. Matchbox cars looked just like real cars and trucks. They were miniatures, not toys, exactly. You’d push them around in little fantasy towns made of Legos or American Bricks, but honestly, their hyper-reality made the fantasy a little less fantastic. Being real offers its own kind of fun, but unreality lets the mind wander more.

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Matchbox Cars >Hot Wheels. Discuss

Matchbox Cars >Hot Wheels. Discuss

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Oh yeah. With God as my witness, Matchbox cars totally kicked Hot Wheel butt. I realize, however, that I’m the only person still breathing who thinks that.

For one thing, Matchbox cars were the last British cars that worked. It wasn’t long after this video was made that British industry switched over full time to manufacturing nothing but Lucas Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke kits, P/N 530433.

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Pfffft. This Is How Everyone Drives On Route 128 In Boston When Two Inches Of Snow Falls

Pfffft. This Is How Everyone Drives On Route 128 In Boston When Two Inches Of Snow Falls


When I was a little kid, I had Matchbox cars. They were really cool. They were exact replicas of real vehicles. I had hundreds of them. I’d pay ten bucks apiece for the Rolls Royce Silver Shadow or the pipe truck right now.

Then came Hot Wheels. I thought they were absurd. They were all strange and misshapen versions of cars, with weird stickers and flames all over them. I thought at the time that cars could never, ever be made to look that garish and infantile and tacky in real life. Apparently I was very, very wrong.